Friday, October 9, 2009

This is one of those times

where if you don't want to hear me bitch, you might not want to read! Seriously, this could get nasty if I don't watch what I say!

I'm fed up! Seriously fed up. These last few weeks have literally been the weeks from hell! I can't even enjoy my poor baby because she is so sick all the time. And when she's not sick, it's just a matter of time before something else happens. I know first hand that there are many children that are much worse off than she is. I have seen some really SICK children! But, to us, this is devasting! It's really difficult to juggle starting a new job, working my current job, Hal in school, Owen in Kindergarten, Madison in general, spending every week at the hospital, this whole week being at the hospital, working to get subs for when I'm off, not feeling guilty about the time spent with Owen and Madison, and everything else involved in just living. But, then I also have the fact that I am starting to get really fed up with a specific group of individuals in my life. I have some really great family and friends. I have family and friends who would drop what ever they are doing to help us when they can. They are the type of people who know that I have always put my children first and that this is all really difficult for us. They also know that Hal and I never ask anyone for help when it comes to raising our children or caring for them. But, I find it very difficult to handle when we ask for help and all I get are excuses for why it's not possible. It's not like we ask all the time for help. It's not like we are trying to "inconvience" anyone. We did not chose to have a sick baby who requires a lot of our attention. We did not ask for any of this and it's not fair to our children to have to worry about who is caring for them. We should not have to sacrifice their health and well being when this is all happening. I will not just pawn my children off on just anyone. We ask for help and it seems that we just get excuses from people who say they care! Then, there are people who will take off work for us, spend time in hotels rooms for us with the kids, drive 2 hours to watch the kids. But, we can only ask this so many times before we feel like we are using these people. Then, there is this other group of people that all I can do is *sigh* when I think about their uninvolvement in the well being of our children. DO NOT PRETEND like you care and not even call to check up on Paige when she is really sick! She is currently STILL in the hospital and has been for 3 days! Hal is with her tonight as I am drained and really just need to sleep. I'll go back in the morning. Yet, there are some people who will talk to the entire town about Paige but yet not even care to check and see if she is okay. Which she is not! She is better, yes! Her fever is down and she is starting to recoop but this has been tramatic for her. Unless you have checked on Paige or read the blog, responded or just plain showed your caring interets, DO NOT pretend like you give a crap about my baby girl! I'm done with fake people. I'm done sharing my beautiful children with anyone who does not on a regular basis care about these children. I will not waste my time caring anymore about these people. People who truly know me, know that I would bend over backwards for anyone! Expecially when it comes to children. Yet, when we ask for help, it only comes from people who we would least expect. Thank you to these people, you know who you are! We love you!


Anonymous said...

Take a deep breath, it Will be OK! Your a strong and independent person!! Let the people who want to help, help. You can trust other people that are not family. Sometimes people don't do their part as a family member unless it benefits them. Sometimes we expect things from people because we were raised with values and they're not doing what we believe are the standards. Loosen up and take a chance or trusting your friends. Life will be easier and your children will experience new adventures and they will learn to have higher expectations of people in their lives. You can't change someone. You either learn to accept how they are or you avoid them and get them out of your life. We all have people in our lives that we just can't understand why they do what they do!

Embarking on a New Journey said...

You know, you are right! You can't change anyone and it's not worth trying.