Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Stressed beyond belief!!

I never thought this day would come. I am officially so stressed out I can't handle it! I'm not usually a stressed person. I ALWAYS find a way for anything I need to do. It just happens. But, this time around, I'm at a loss. Paige has surgery on Thursday. The problem is, I have no idea what time on Thursday. The problem with this is that I will not know what time until tomorrow night, leaving me without knowledge what I'm doing with Madison and Owen. I have Maddie scheduled at daycare and she can be there at 6am if I really need her to be. But, I called and talked to the outpatient surgery and they said it can be as early as 6am. So now what??!!? Who is going to stay with the kids while we are down there. Taking them really isn't an option at this point because siblings are NOT allowed to be in the room at all. So why take them if that restricts one of us from being there with Paige. I know, I know. Someone is probably saying, why doesn't Hal stay with the kids while I go or vice versa. Think about it this way...

My poor 6 week old baby girl is having a mask to put her to sleep, then they insert an IV, possibly a breathing tube and then stick a scope down her throat. And it's not like they can just stick it up her nose and down her throat, her nose is all open to her mouth. So that is even more difficult and uncomfortable for Paige. Then, they will be placing tubes in her ears. Not a huge big deal on the tubes but still under meds for all of this. Then, waiting that scary time hoping that she wakes back up! What parent wants to not be there for all of that? I can't and won't miss that for Paige and for myself. Hal feels the same.

This is really hard as I normally do not trust many people with my children. I know find myself in a position that I'm going to have to trust more people. The problem is, it's hard to come by these days. Many people are too busy, too selfish or just plain too annoying to ask. Then, there are those people that would do anything in the world for us but we are too fearful to ask for their help. You know that simple "hey if you ever need anything" phrase. Well, I never can tell if they are serious or just saying it because they feel bad for us.

I know I'm quite frank on all of this but it's really bugging me to no end. I have NO idea what we are doing for this Thursday, not alone the days we are in the hospital when she is there for lip and palate surgery. And any other possible surgeries she might have.

This is all just really hard!