Monday, November 22, 2010

Taking time

People have always asked Hal and I, "how do you do it?" "How do you juggle school, kids, work and life?" The answer is "we just do it!" Since Hal and I have been married (7 years in December), we have between the two of us...completed undergrad school, completed graduate program, completed associates program, worked full time jobs, been a soccer parent, coached t- ball (2 years), gave birth to 3 beautiful, amazing children, and so much more. PTO, work, new found pageants, ballet, doctors appointments, etc. I look at our lives so incredibly ordinary. I think about all the accomplishments we have made and I know that we will make more in life. We have only just begun. I don't think that we are any better than any other family. We set out a goal in life and we did it. We never sacrificed our role as a parent, as many people had told us we would have to do to succeed in what we did/do. That is our number one focus. Yet, sometimes while I'm thinking about humble I really should be...I take one second and think to myself... "can't we be proud?" Seriously, are we not allowed to yell to the world that we put our children first, that we finished college, that we have good paying jobs, that we are succeeding in life? Do we have to be humble all the time?

I know this is simply rambling. I understand that it must sound like crazy talk. Sometimes I just wonder if we are allowed to simply be happy. It seems that there are so much negativity in our lives with unhappy people who want to always bring us down. Bring us down because we are not exactly what they thought/think a family should be like. Bring us down because they think they can do better.

I was recently told that it takes a community of people to raise children. Why can't we be proud that it doesn't take a community with us? Can't we be proud that when we reach Heaven's gate that we can look God straight in the eyes and tell Him that we did the best we could and protected our children from the wrong of this world?. For so many reasons I dislike this statement. A community is not held responsible for the shortcomings of parents. The parents are held responsible for the lack of upbringing of a child. No one will say, "that community failed that child." They will say "they had rotten parents." Plain and simple. What about cultures and teaching differences in family to our children? Can a parent truly teach that on their own? I believe so. Do you know that the families that I work with the most that have difficulties are those families that there are too many roasters in the hen house. Children get confused easily in life. Distorted views of life are easily instilled in children. My children are exposed to probably more than Hal and I combined as a child. We were both brought up in a family that did not communicate with other families as often as most. However, we are two of the most social people I know. I want my children to know that the people we surround ourselves with are those who respect our values, our morals and will give my children something positive to learn.

I have three of the most social, sweet, understanding, caring and affectionate children in this world. They care deeply for each other and have the best relationship (at this point in their life) that I could ever possibly hope for. They understand that there is hardship in this world and that there are children who are suffering. My children donate toys to children who do not have any, we make an effort to comfort families who we can, and we are there for our family and friends when they need us the most. My children have the joys of a teacher for a mother who will never give up on their learning of the academics and of life. My children love music, dance, playing outdoors, waterparks, parks, watching birds fly in the sky and a good day of fishing. My children have friendships from birth and easily make new friends and will even help an unknown child if they fall on the playground. My children adapt well to change, understand that mommy and daddy are not perfect and love their lives. My children understand love and know how to give it. They have independence, yet compassion too. What more can I ask for? What more should I instill?

These past few days I have done a lot of thinking. I have thought that I think too harshly on my own parenting skills and rely to much on the thoughts of other. I'm a good mother. I do not need anyone to tell me that. When my children give me a hug every single night before and every single morning before school, I know I'm a good mother. I will not allow negativity to take that away from me. I'm done with those people in my life that make me feel otherwise.

I do pray however that some day, those people who think that everything has to be negative will find joy. That they will find a reason to stop being so negative and find hope for the future. Until then...goodbye negativity....Hello to a good life!