Do you ever wonder if God is just challenging you?

I almost think that God seriously did give Paige to me on purpose. I love my daughter! I already feel a really strong bond with this little being! She is a sweet baby and so cuddly. Maddie was never cuddly. She wanted to be put down and was very independent from the start. Owen was OVER cuddly because he was so colicky that it was tiresome to hold him. Paige, she is just sweet. She curls her little legs up and lays her hands out on your and you just melt at her sweetness. But these days I almost wonder if I'm being challlenge Paige in my life. I have never thought of raising a baby as difficult. Seriously! I haven't. I find raising an infant far easier than raising a toddler or older. I don't always mind getting up in the night, I don't mind a screaming baby, or changing diapers, stopping to feed in the middle of the grocery story. I have never minded any of that. I always stimulate my babies with enough tummy time, music, interactions, mouth exercises, etc. I know how to take care of a baby, it's instinct for me. But, Paige...dear Paige. She is my challenge. Just when I thought it was easy to have a newborn, she brings me more challenges.

1. Paigey pooh has reflux! Owen had it too but it's a little different when you have a baby with a NAM. Any time she spits up, out comes the NAM to get washed. Plus the fact that her poor little nose is caved in so when she spits up, it almost always comes out her nose. Then she gets really mad because she can't breathe any better with breastmilk or formula in the inside of her nose. So here come the qtips or wash clothes. Also, she will get Zantax twice a day until she's much older.

2. Paige has thrush. None of my kids have had it but apparantly she got it. I can only assume it's because of all the germs from her NAM and the fact that her mouth gets played with by others more than any other kid. So she has meds 4 times a day and it just doesn't seem to want to go away. I'm even taking meds for it in the hopes that I don't have it to give to her through breastfeeding.

3. Cradle cap. Paige has cradle cap. None of my kids had this either but apparantly Paige does. It's not too bad at all and I just have been using a brush to get it out of her hair and applying lotion to the brush afterward and brushing that into her scalp. But, it's just another thing that I have yet to experience that Paige has brought to the table. Of course, none of this is Paige's fault and I don't mind it but it's just one more thing that I am learning!

I don't mind learning all these things. It's a challenge to me really. Everyone who truly knows me, knows that I'm pretty ambusious. When I set my mind to something, I always do it. Case in point, finishing my masters degree when working full time, Hal going to school full time, raising two children, etc. It was difficult and now it's complete! Yeah me! So having Paige actually is no surprise to me. It's just shows that I needed another challenge or purpose in life.

In recent weeks, I have been thinking about my purpose in life. I have gone to school for 6 years to be a teacher. I have a masters degree in Special Education, undergrad degree in Elementary Education and a certificate in Behavioral Specialist. And yet, some days, I find that I don't want to use any of it. I almost feel like I have another calling in life. I haven't determined yet what it is but I almost think God gave me Paige so I would figure it out. She is my angel baby! Truly my angel! I have also been thinking of a way that I can use my talents to put on a fund raiser for cleft affected babies. There are so many children that are affected with a cleft and can not afford to have the surgeries. Overseas, it costs 250 dollars for ONE CHILD to have a surgery. Doctors donate their time and money to perform these surgeries. The 250 dollars goes towards supplies and recovery. I would LOVE to organize a fund raiser to help these children! More will come soon with all of this as I am still sorting out my ideas! I would love to raise enough for 4 children to have the surgery (1000 dollars). If you have any ideas, feel free to leave me a comment!

On a happier note...Paigey pooh had her first smile. Hal told me she smiled the other day at him and I told him it was gas. :) Then she did it with me and I assumed the same thing. Until yesterday when I was playing with her chin and making sounds and she was just smiling away. I tried to capture a picture with no luck! :) But she is getting so big! She lights up our lives!